


Redemption (John Seed x Reader)

by Honey_Tsundere



Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: Dom/sub Undertones, F/M, Masochism, Sadism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:20:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 21,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25363003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Honey_Tsundere/pseuds/Honey_Tsundere
Summary: Completed Story!John Seed x Reader*****I do not own Far Cry 5 or any of the characters or quotes related to the game. :) *******This story does have mature content and some pretty brutal scenes involving torture, blood, and the usual Seed family antics. Please proceed cautiously if needed. **[Import from my Wattpad] Was #1 in JohnSeed tag
Relationships: Deputy | Judge/John Seed, Deputy | Judge/Kim Rye/Nick Rye, Female Deputy | Judge/Jacob Seed, Female Deputy | Judge/John Seed, Jacob Seed & John Seed, Jacob Seed/Reader, John Seed & Reader, John Seed/Joseph Seed, John Seed/Reader, John Seed/You, Kim Rye/Nick Rye, Kim Rye/Nick Rye/John Seed
Comments: 1
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

You take a deep breath, taking a moment to pause and really take in what was around you. You had just pulled the yellow lever of the radio tower Dutch sent you to, and now you're looking down at the most breathtaking sight you've ever seen.

The fog was below you; you must not have noticed it while you were climbing up the several ladders of the tower. You could see several mountains in the distance, almost like Hope County was surrounded by a bowl to block off the evil antics that were hiding within it... that was about to change.

See, now _you're_ here. You may be just a rookie, but the fire burning within was greater than any emotion you've ever felt. They took your friends. You would go through hell and back to beat the shi- "Deputy? _Deputy_!"

You didn't even notice you had zoned out while gazing at the land below, being able to distinguish the three regions below belonging to each of Joseph's Heralds. "What is it?" You finally say with a click of the radio transmitter.

"Deputy, I'm getting a strong signal now. Let me walk you through what I'm seeing..." You listen carefully at Dutch's words as he tells you which region belongs to which sibling.

Whitetail Mountains, belonging to the former soldier who brought the bad habits back home with him- Jacob Seed. He's the oldest brother, in charge of training the cult... From what you can tell by Dutch's explanation, he's pretty damn good at it.

Then you have the Henbane River, home of the seemingly sweet Faith Seed. "I've heard all kinds of stories about people losing their minds in a place called 'The Bliss." Dutch had an underlying trace of disgust in his voice as he talked about the adopted younger sister.

And Finally, Holland Valley. John Seed had, apparently, just arrived in the Valley and was already claiming everything for the cult- food, supplies, land, and people. The moment was surreal feeling while you listened to Dutch tell you about the cult. Perhaps you should have been paying more attention to what he was saying about the last region... Surprises are never good.

You couldn't help it, you needed a moment to understand that this is the real world and evil like this _actually_ exists _._ Besides, the view below you was becoming more and more captivating as Dutch rambled over the radio. You get it, he knows a lot about Hope County. His words were cut off "Oh shit-"

You snap your attention back to the radio in time for him to continue, not waiting for you to egg him on. "Deputy, I'm pickin' up somethin' new 'outta Holland Valley. It's a broadcast from John... You need to see this."

The radio clicks off and Dutch immediately send the video to the small TV screen perched on the radio tower.

"We are all sinners... Every one of us-" The Baptist began, turning around with his hands folding together and turning his face to the screen. It gave you a weird sensation while you watched the man preach to the camera, his stunning blue eyes cutting through the screen and staring straight into your soul.

You could see a blue silk dress shirt under his leather coat; more intriguingly, you noticed a tangle of scars poking out between his shirt buttons. You curiously trace your fingernail against the scar on the tiny screen, almost wishing you could see what else was under his shirt.

The screen cuts, making you jump a little as it shows him walking down toward a few peggies. You could hear soft music playing in the background of the video in a peaceful, uplifting tone. "What if I told you, you could be free from sin? What if I told you that everything you ever dreamed could come true? What if I-"

Your mind begins to spin in a hundred directions. John Seed was definitely charismatic, that's for sure. Yet, that's not what was bothering you. His message was very uplifting and promising; the peggies in the shot looked to be in good health and happy. You understood it was a broadcast and was fake, so why is your head still spinning.

Maybe.... just, maybe... it was those bright blue eyes. Perhaps the way his sunglasses perched on his perfectly slicked back hair or even his bittersweet voice cutting through the gentle wind on the radio tower. Whatever it was, you were curious to find out more. You take a glance at Holland Valley, daydreaming about meeting the blue eyed Baptist. You weren't paying attention when Dutch was telling you about him, but he didn't seem to be so bad...

You turn back to the screen to see more, or just to push away the butterflies that were dancing in your stomach. Your eyes immediately go to John in the corner of the screen before slowly trailing to a woman with tape over her mouth being pushed at gunpoint by a peggie. Your heart instantly sank deep into the pit of your stomach- _Hudson_.

Every butterfly was shot out of you and each glimpse of attraction was revoked as you watched the Baptist of the Valley put his hand ever so gently around her neck. You could see the fear in her tear-stained eyes.

"Don't worry, you don't have to do anything" He held his hand up gently as he wrapped up his broadcast, "We'll come for you."

John walked out if view of the camera and the screen zapped out to blackness, leaving you staring at the hatred in your own eyes as they reflected off the blackness.

Revenge... That is the first word that popped into your head. You were going to make him pay for what he's doing to Hudson; you were going to make them all pay, each and every one of them until they are the ones crying for help.

If you could just get past.... those eyes..


	2. Chapter 2

It had been an entire week since your friends were taken from you. You still have flashbacks and nightmares remembering the helicopter crash... Deputy Hudson screaming beside you as she was being dragged away by peggies, even the chilling sound of "the Father" singing amazing grace would get stuck in your head. You hated when that happened, it made you want to scratch your ears off and scream until the music was drowned out.

Most days, you would release your anger on settlements that were overcome by those fucking peggies. You hated to admit it, but popping rounds into their skulls gave you a sick sensation that each life was a step closer to Deputy Hudson.

You turn your attention towards the bright red structure standing tall just over the hill. It disgusted you to see the cult's symbol painted on the silo for you to see across the river.

You snuck up the hill to make sure no one was around before you wrap your finger around the grenade pin in your hand and toss it gently at the base of the silo, immediately taking cover after.

A strange ping of regret swept over you for destroying one of John's silos. "It's the Deputy!" You hear a mans voice from behind you. You whip around and lock eyes with a man the same time he locked his onto yours- _peggie_.

Before he could aim his gun to you, you instinctively drew yours and shot in his direction.

The peggie fell lifelessly; you checked his pockets and gun for potential ammo you could need in the future. The radio clicks on your hip and you anticipate the sound of the Sheriff or even Dutch. "Deputy," The voice sent a chill down your spine. It was a low, threatening grumble you had never heard before.

"Have your parents never taught you never to touch what does not belong to you?" You fell back onto the sack of feed you were hiding behind, your mouth was parted slightly as you listened to the voice you identified to be none other than John Seed.

"You are hurting, I get it- I do." There were uncomfortable pauses between his harsh message. Your heart began to beat faster and you couldn't seem to swallow the lump that was residing within your throat.

"Let me help you, Deputy. Let me wash your sins from your life. Every town you've destroyed, every Shrine- destroyed... it can all be forgiven."

He paused, either to let you sink in his words, or wait for an answer he knew he wouldn't get. "My people are coming for you... They will bring you to me. Oh, and don't try to fight it, because the harder you resist, _well_ -" He gave a deep chuckle after letting his tongue linger too long on his last word, "The harder we'll have to scrub your soul."

You could practically feel your pulse attempting to escape your body. "See you soon, Deputy." You jumped up to your feet and began to run straight for the woods. He obviously knew where you were after you destroyed his silo; it isn't like it went down quietly. You weren't sure if his words sounded more like a threat or a promise, but the hell if you were going to stick around to find out.

You ran for miles, headed straight towards Falls End to seek refuge with your friends. Finally, the church peaks out from the fog- you were almost there!

Just then, an off-white pickup whips in front of you with several surrounding you. You stumble backwards to avoid smacking into the truck. You draw your gun and shoot one of the peggies twice in the chest. It didn't matter, there were too many of them and you were surrounded. You were sure death was imminent. "Hit her with the bliss!"

You turn towards the voice with your handgun outstretched in his direction until you were met by a sharp pain in your abdomen.

Instantly, you fell into the dirt with a dozen peggies jumping out of trucks to surround you. You wish you could fight, you wish you could put a bullet in every damn one of their skulls. But... you couldn't. You could hardly breathe anymore, nevertheless see them.

Everything faded away into blackness and for once, you were at peace.


	3. Chapter 3

Your vision faded back in as you were being drug across mud into a river. You heard a voice preaching in the background, but you were too exhausted to bother listening. Part of you wondered how you were alive, or how you felt no pain from where you were shot.

It was only when the peggie dragging you, dunked your head under water that you finally came back from your paralysis. You gripped the peggies shoulder as you struggled, desperately needing to take another breath. Why didn't they just just shoot you? Why knock you out just to drown you?

When you thought you couldn't take any more, the peggie picked you up out of the water and onto your feet. Then you realized- was this... a _baptism_? The peggie pushed you towards the man who was reading from what seemed to be a Bible.

You caught you breath as you approached him, you could see hints of his facial features from a feint blue light that was illuminating the baptism. _John._

Was it fear, or was it something else that was making your stomach do somersaults as you got closer to him?

He shut his book and muttered something under his breath to the man who was holding you. "Ah, Deputy." He cheered, grabbing your shoulders. All of the peggies that were once in the river began to scatter with their captured victims, leaving you and John alone.

You let your breath go and gave a hesitant smile before being shoved backwards into the water. A gulp of water was forced down your throat, leaving you unable to breathe. "There's a special place in Hell for sinners like you." He growled, tossing you down in the mud on your hands and knees.

You coughed up the river water out if your lungs, longing to breathe easy once more. You felt John roll you over on your back, making it harder for you to breathe. "Awwh," He mocked in a condescending tone, shaking his head at you with a _tsk_ noise.

He knelt down and his face got close to yours, so close that you could see the aqua dancing with the deep blue waves in his eyes. His hand grasped the collar of your jacket, "I think it's about time for you to confess, Deputy... Don't you see? I'm trying to- _we're_ trying to save you." His lips were getting closer to your face.

Your thoughts were lost more in his eyes and his touch than the words he spoke. "Come with me?" Was John Seed _asking_ you to be his prisoner? What's even the point?

You didn't respond; it's not like he really expected you to anyway. Curiosity was getting the best of you as your E/C eyes trailed down to his soft pink lips. They formed into a twisted smirk when the Baptist realized what you were doing. "Sin is pervasive, Deputy."

John stood up and brought you to your feet, shouting something loudly- possibly a name? Your suspicions were confirmed when the peggie you were accompanied by earlier rushed over from the road. "This one is ready for confession." John smiled, gripping your shoulder tightly and putting his other hand gently around your throat.

You took a hard swallow and tried to keep strong so neither one of the men knew you were terrified as fuck. John tightened his grip on your throat, barely enough to constrict your breathing. "You will tell me every sin you've ever committed... No matter how small, no matter how petty." You could feel his hot breath against your ear while he whispered to you. You close your eyes when you hear a sinister chuckle; you could imagine the smirk he had plastered on his face about now. "And, no one is coming to save you."

John let go and you were left with the peggie who was pushing your back with the tip of his gun towards a truck that was just pulling up. You glance back at John for a moment to see a glimpse of him wink at you.


	4. Chapter 4

You've been in the bunker for what seemed to be days. To be honest, there was no outside light and no way for you to tell what time it was, so you could have just been in there for an hour. Regardless, you were tired and a little hungry after waking up from your slumber in the uncomfortable chair.

"Hudson?" You whispered, blinking your eyes open to see the long haired deputy duct taped to a roll chair. She was crying silently to herself, looking suspiciously malnourished and beaten. The sight made you sick to your stomach; how could anyone do this to such a sweet girl?

You struggled to relieve your hands from the cuffs that were cutting into your wrists, but your efforts were met with disappointment. You turned your attention back to Deputy Hudson, "I'm going to get you out of here, do you hear me?" You promised. Her green eyes focused on you and she gave a helpless nod.

You wiggled in your chair until you were slowly making your way towards your friend. When you got about a foot away you heard a chilling laugh from the darkness of the bunker. _Fuck. So close...._

The handsome Seed brother stepped out from the shadows and gently put his hand on the back of Hudson's chair; he slowly let it roll behind him as he walked further away from you than you started. "What was your next move, Deputy?" He teased.

Your forehead crinkled in disgust and your lips formed into a hard line while you watched for the man's next move.

He cleared his throat and walked over to the metal table that was on your right. It was almost as if someone had flipped a switch inside of him that reminded him what he was here for. "My... parents..." He began, leaning against the table with his bright blue eyes focused on you. You paid no attention to anything he was saying, you couldn't let him get in your head. Instead, you focused closely on his facial features to pretend you were listening to his life sermon.

_Big mistake._

He grew more and more enticing; you found yourself wanting him closer, his hands back on you like they were at the river. The thought of the Baptist in an intimate way made you relax ever-so slightly in the chair you were handcuffed to.

John suddenly stopped in the middle of his sentence and stared you curiously from where he was standing. Using the hand that wasn't leaning on the table, he snapped a finger before pointing it directly at Hudson. All the while, he was still fixated on _you_.

Two armed peggies scurried over quickly and rolled Hudson away. ' _What is happening?'_ You thought privately.

John stepped closer and closer until he was an arm length in front of you. "Deputy," he whispered, forcing his knees to crouch so he was eye level with you.

The tattoo gun buzzed to life; you flinched at the sudden noise. "What is your name?" The request confused you, what did it matter? You'd probably be dead within the next hour. Stubbornly, you resisted the urge to speak.

The young man quickly got impatient and tightened his grip on the handle of his tattoo gun. "What is your name, Deputy?" He repeated. There was a 3 second pause before you gathered the courage to spit at his face.

This wasn't the best idea you've ever had, but the anger inside of you was telling you it was. John slammed his fist on the metal tray beside you, making you jump and cry out. He dropped the gun and grasped your throat firmly in his palm. "Y/N...." You gasped, suddenly terrified at what would happen if you were silent any longer.

He smiled contently at his successful attempts. "You're not going to regret this, Y/N. I promise." The hand that was around your throat trailed down to your buttoned flannel, being met by his other hand. He ripped open the shirt to expose your chest before reaching for a damp cloth perched in a bowl beside the tattoo gun.

Your breath got heavy, but you tried to hide it from him. Instead, you allowed your eyes to explore the tattoos on his arms. Did he do those himself? His voice broke the silence, "If we hide our sin, we hide ourselves.... You will not hide any longer."

He began to clean the skin on your chest; you couldn't help but let your eyes wander down his body to get your first good luck of the Holland Valley Herald. Joh smirked, "I see the way you look at me..."

You could hear a hint of curiosity in his voice, but he didn't look away from his work. "Oh?" You muttered.

He groaned silently before running his hand sneakily down your chest to the hem of your jeans; you noticed, although you weren't sure if he wanted you to or not. "Don't make me add more sins to the list... you're going to run out of room on your body." He threatened.

An idea pops into your head... a very, very bad one.

"What are you going to do about it?" Your voice was challenging, John thought you might be getting too sarcastic for his taste. "Really?" He asked, "I'm going to carve every sin you've ever been burdened with onto your flesh and I am going to enjoy watching your blood spill out on the floor while you scream."

He looked up at you and was surprised to be met by a different type of challenge in your eyes; he would be lying if he said it didn't interest him. "Are you sure you want to go ahead and do that? Before I confess?"

"Yes." He growled, though he wasn't so sure. You began to lose hope in delaying the confession. Just as you were about to give up, you found a reason to keep fighting- his hand was now gripping the hem of your jeans.

You glanced down before locking your e/c eyes on his icy gaze. "John," You whispered, partly in fear and partly in.... well, you weren't too sure.

Hearing his name roll off you tongue made John feel a way he wasn't used to feeling. It interested him- he was curious, but most of all, it scared him. And what happens when John Seed gets scared?

He gets _angry_.

All in one motion, he grabbed your neck and pulled you closer by your jeans from his other hand. "You need to watch who the fuck you're talking to." He growled, his lips half an inch from yours.

You tried not to breathe heavy on his face, even though you didn't have much control over the situation. You were playing with fire and you knew it; you had to be careful or you would get burned.

You were trying to stall the confession by appealing to the sin most easily manipulated- Lust. Yet, you couldn't help but... _want it._

You glanced down at his lips a few times as your heart beat faster and faster in your chest. He knew it, too. He could see the way you looked at him like no one else did; the way you caught your breath when he would look at you. Most importantly, he could tell that you wanted to feel him all over you- you _craved_ his touch. The realization made John smirk wide without daring to take his lips any further or closer.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~*~ Content Warning ~*~

_John Seed._

The name is bitter on your tongue and eats away at the hope you have left for humanity. He was a self-righteous, manipulative, sadistic asshole who tortures innocent people to force them to be in some doomsday cult. He kidnapped your friend and was holding her hostage, letting her slowly die. You could kill him if you had the chance; everything about him made your blood boil. His voice was sickeningly charismatic and charming to go along with his beautiful icy blue eyes and gorgeous slicked back hair. His voice was soothing and lively, like honey rolling off of his soft pink lips. The very thought of his hands exploring your body was welcoming. Imagining his lips leaving marks down your neck excited you. No matter how hard you tried to deny it, _you wanted him_.

His one hand was still around your neck and his other was continuing to grip the hem of your jeans. It seemed like ages since his lips were first this close to you. "Tell me, Miss Y/N, are you trying to seduce me?"

You wanted to close your eyes and lean in to feel his kiss. "I.... I-" You couldn't breathe, but you weren't sure if it was his hand on your neck or if it was lust. His deep blue eyes searched your face; he was trying to put together this strange puzzle you had thrown in front of him.

He smirked, deciding to play along with whatever game you were playing. "Let me guess, the second I take these cuffs off of you... I'm dead." He chuckled. Why were his lips still so close?

"Who said anything about taking the cuffs off..?" You quietly asked, finally allowing yourself to breathe. This answer made the Seed brother even more curious. To your surprise, his hand moved from your neck to the back of your head, taking a handful of hair between his fingers; he smashed his lips against yours hungrily and pulled your body against his with his other hand.

No more games, no more puzzle pieces, all you had was this moment of raw intensity. You didn't want to remember who he was, or why you were kissing him back.

Neither of you could kiss fast enough to satisfy the lust welling up in the pit of your stomach. _Why did you love this?_ His kisses matched his personality very well; they were rough, intense, and very dominating. Every kiss was a demand for more, and you gave in to him like a mailbox in a hurricane.

He broke away from your lips only to leave bites down your neck. You close your eyes and softly moan at the feeling he was giving you.

John broke away and pushed your roll chair away from him, suddenly shifting moods. You wanted to whine and beg for more, but you could tell he was dealing with some inner conflict.

Instead, you watch him pace back and forth in front of the metal table. He let his hand run through his hair while he concentrated on his thoughts. What was he doing?

He stopped pacing and slammed his fist on the table, making you jump along with the tool box; he grabbed the nearest sharp tool and pointed it in your direction, "You..." He growled.

He walked closer to you, but stopped when he got too close. "You truly are a plague of sin in this county, **_my_** **county!"** His sudden outburst frightened you, but you continued to watch.

"I used to think your sin was Wraith. But now,.. now I see you're much more than just one sin." He tossed the tool away before wrapping his fingers around the tattoo gun, allowing it to buzz to life. "Don't worry, Deputy, this will only be the worst pain you've ever experienced." His smirk was twisted now as he focused his attention on where he would carve your sins.

"John, no, please!" You cry out when the needle takes the first drop of blood. "Do not resist," he dug the needle deeper into your flesh and you were sure he normally never went so deep. "Be still!" He growled, holding you down while he carved into your chest.

You didn't need to act strong right now, the pain was much more than you could handle. Instead, you screamed at the pain and tried pushing his arms away.

John laughed while he stood up, taking a step to admire his work of art, "Ah, wrath!" He exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air.

You could see your own blood running down the tattoos that were on his arms. You even had blood on his sleeves, although they were rolled up to his shoulders. "But," he frowned and lowered his arms. "I'm afraid we're not done yet, Deputy."

"No..." you gasped between sobs. He pointed his tattoo gun at you, " _You_ did this, not me... I am just trying to help you so you can atone for your sins. The pain is temporary; the sin it represents will soon be ripped apart from your body and forgiven." It made you sick to hear him preaching to you. Suddenly, all of the hatred was back.

John wasted no time getting to work on the next sin: _Lust_. He tugged at your jeans, rightfully picking your hip bone to display the scar. "This one has fewer letters." He teased, letting the corners of his mouth stretch into a wide smile.

You couldn't cry anymore; you could hardly even breathe. " _I will_ _kill you...... And every member of this fucking family...._." You whispered to John, half reminding yourself why you came to Hope County in the first place. The lack of blood finally caught up to you, forcing your surroundings to fade out into darkness.


	6. Chapter 6

Your eyes blink open and try adjusting to the poor lighting in the dungeon. The metallic smell of your own blood on the floor made you nauseous inside. You quickly scan the area before trying to scoot your chair in attempt to escape. However, you were greeted by a sharp pain all over your body.

You looked down to see the word Lust carved into your hip bone, the blood was dried up now and it seems to have been cleaned to avoid infection. You couldn't see the one on your chest, but you knew it was there.

Tears welled up in your eyes, why would someone do this? How did you fail stalling the Baptist from carving sins on your skin?

You turned your attention back to getting the hell out of here. Ignoring the pain wasn't easy, but it helped knowing that there would be more if you didn't escape.

You achieved your goal getting the chair to the flight of stairs you were eyeballing. Taking a deep breath, you pushed yourself over the ledge and let your body tumble with the chair.

Success!

The arms of the chair were broken, allowing your handcuffs to slide out of them. You instantly grab the nearest metal pin and start picking the cuffs open. Once you get them off, you rub the red rings that were indented in your wrists.

You grab the nearest weapon and run faster than you've ran before. Searching desperately for the exit, you trade your bat for an actual gun after the first Peggie you killed. It was easy taking them out, since they didn't expect someone to be in the bunker with them. You hear John's chilling voice over the speakers as you get closer to the exit.

Is he letting you go?

"Your sin consumes you... Blinds you to all the harm your efforts inflict. It allows you to dispense of human life so easily."

You take another Peggie out as you hear him ask, "Have you ever given so much as a second thought to killing?"

You stop and stare at the Peggie for a moment. In a split second, you ponder over the authenticity of the help you are trying to provide in this county.

Instantly, the thought vanishes as you focus your sight on the exit. "The doors are closing, Deputy. Last chance to leave."

And then it hits you harder than a pickup with no brakes- _Hudson._

John is only letting you leave because he _knows_ you'll have to come back for Hudson. But why doesn't he just kill you both now? What is his other plans for the two of you?

With no time to spare, you grasp on to a zip line that leads you away from the bunker. When you land, you push through the exhaustion and make a run for the forest.

His strong words echo through your mind while you make your escape. The hatred from within you slowly begins to fade the further you get into the forest. The feelings start to mix with the feelings you felt in that room... with him. With John..

Maybe part of you didn't want to escape; perhaps a small part of you wanted him to catch you before you left. Is that crazy?

With the complex thoughts and bizarre feelings mixing around inside of you, you fail to notice a tree log that sends you to the dirt road right outside of the tree line.

"Ow!" You shriek as you hit the ground. You look up to see headlights coming at you before they slam on brakes. You want to run, but the fatigue catches up to you too quickly for you to get on your feet fast enough. Your vision begins to fade.

The truck comes to a sliding stop and a man jumps out. You look up with the last ounce of energy you have to meet eyes with him, "Nick-" you gasp in relief and exhaustion.

You're... saved?


	7. Chapter 7

A peaceful light shines through a glass window onto your bedsheets. The place seems safe, seeing you've finally gotten a good sleep under your belt.

You sit up gently and scan the room; it is definitely a house in Fall's End. You grab the glass of water from the night stand and suck it down like you haven't had it in weeks. After, you get up and slip on a new set of clothes that have been set out for you.

You go down stairs to see Nick Rye, his wife, and Paster Jerome sitting around a table with breakfast foods. Nick sees you first and lights up, "Y/N!" He exclaims. He is the only one around this county that doesn't call you Deputy. Well... him and uh,- no one. You don't want to even let his name slip into your thoughts.

"Thank you for saving me, Nick..." you mutter. He gives a reassuring sign and motions toward some food on the stove. "How long have I been asleep?" You ask as you head over to them.

"Almost a full day's worth." The pastor responds. "John and his people have started to search for you now."

The sound of his name makes your stomach turn in an uncomfortable knot. 'He's looking for me?' you silently ask in your head. More importantly, why do you even care for the answer? You should be looking for _him._ You should be wanting to _kill him._

You throw some food into your system, "I have to get Hudson... she's there, and she's.. alive." The tail end of your statement sounded more like a question. The state Hudson was in... I don't know that you would call it alive, per say.

The paster sighs and pokes a sausage patty with his fork, "You need to rest, y-" You grab your gun holster and some new ammo, "No, Pastor Jerome, I have had plenty of sleep and I won't rest again until I have her back to safety."

"You know where to find me if you need a plane!" Nick calls out as you step out of the front door. You look back at him with a smile and then close the door gently behind you until you hear the click.

Now, how do you find this bunker of John's? You don't exactly remember where you escaped from; even if Nick showed you where he found you, there was a lot of running unaccounted for.

Ah!

The secret isn't to _find him,_ it is to get to attention! And you know just how.

"Dutch, where is the nearest peggy outpost?" You ask over the speaker. You hop on a four-wheeler while awaiting his response. You gently grab your abdomen when it begins to pulse in an annoying pain. The memories come flooding back to you once more about John carving the sins into your skin... Just after he was kissing you and your body like he had never wanted anything else.

_You_ wanted nothing else... In that moment- the Deputy, the resistance, the seed family... none of it matter an ounce to you. You feel your heart beat stronger and you close to your eyes to try bringing back the feel of his lips against yours. You want more... You want him to,

A clear voice over your receiver splits through your imagination like a knife, "Deputy, I'm glad to hear you are awake and ready to get back to work. Head on down to US Auto; we're starting to get low on gas supply and could really use your help to clear out those damn peggies."

Your vehicle hums to life with a twist of your wrist and you quickly zoom towards your destination. Game on, this should be fun.


	8. Chapter 8

He never came... He never showed up; he never so much as breathed a word towards you through the county intercoms. 3 weeks. It has been- Three. Entire. Weeks. Nothing.

No matter how many silos you destroy, outposts you clear, or even prisoner trucks you liberate, he just won't come for you and it makes you angry in ways it probably shouldn't.

Does he not want you like you thought he did? Was that intense moment in the bunker just more mind games to fuck you up?

You're sitting on the edge of a cement ramp at the Railway Station you just cleared. The resistance have just began to move out the Peggie products, but there were still bodies lying all over the railways. Mindlessly, you've been staring at one particular body of a female Peggie that was just beneath where you're sitting.

There has to be a way for John to come for you again... You're tearing up his whole region and he couldn't give a damn thought about it.

A couple of voices catch your attention between two men carrying boxes up the ramp. "Yeah, the Peggies are having some sort of banquet at John's Ranch tonight."

"That's sick; I bet they're going to carve into each other as some sort of party game." The other growls. You listen, but continue to stare at the body.

"That's disgusting, but honestly I could see that. These people don't surprise me anymore." The voices fade way as the men go past behind you.

You narrow your eyes at the body you haven't even blinked at yet. A banquet, hmm?

You hop down from the ramp and quickly examine your surroundings before stripping the dead corpse of her eden's gate clothes. If John won't come to you, then you'll just have to bring yourself to him.

...

You click off the ignition on your four-wheeler then stare at the ranch from a distance. Even liberating an outpost didn't make you this nervous. Maybe because you actually had a plan in those situations.

You adjust your uncomfortable peggie clothing after stepping onto the dirt road leading to the party that had already began. Maybe a plan would have been nice. No matter, it is too late for plans now.

Your heart starts beating faster and you focus on the front door. Slowly, your hand reaches out for the knob, only for a peggie to swing it open from inside. "Welcome sister!!!" He exclaims with a drink in hand. You muster up the best smile possible to avoid knocking him out with your pistol grip.

You get dragged inside straight toward the bar area. You find it refreshing to know that these idiots don't recognize you under the disguise. A drink gets placed into your hand, which you proceed to fake drink; obviously you can't risk getting tipsy here.

Everything seemed to be going well. Every time a peggie would get suspicious, you find a way to avert the crisis. "Did you hear Sam got five sinners to confess yesterday? A personal record!" One of the younger peggie's cheer towards you. "Oh! Uh, yeah... he's an amazing man." You stutter in response, lifting your drink for a fake toast.

The chatted of the room fell silent and suddenly you notice all eyes were on you, suspicious more now than before. "Sam...? As in- Samantha." The Peggie slowly explains.

Shit.

You laugh and forcibly spill some of your drink, "WHOO! Samantha, duh! If she could see how WASTED I am right now!" You shout in laughter.

Like brain-dead squirrels, the room laughs in response and carries on their conversations again. Whew, too close. You take an actual sip of the drink as you turn away from the crowd. After all, you need a sip at this point.

You freeze as you notice the devilishly handsome man only a few people away from you, talking to one of his peggies. You can't help but stare in a frozen state of paralysis while you examine his every twitch.

His hand is leaning on the doorframe beside him to support his body as he chatted with the dark haired female. His arm muscles were peeking out of his rolled up sleeve, displayed just for you to drool over.

His piercing blue eyes looking at you made your heart-

Shit! He's looking right at you! Does he recognize you?

He pushes off the wall with his flexed arm curiously comes closer. He grabs your chin in his palm as you hold your breath, returning a curious gaze. He searches your face for familiarity then lets his eyes drop down to your neck; your eyes follow as much as they can.

His fingers wrap around your necklace that is tucked under your shirt. His lips draw a twisted smirk and he releases an amused "hm."

He examines your resistance necklace for a moment that seemed to last centuries. With a quick motion, he rips it off your neck without drawing attention to the situation. "Now-" He grumbles. He waves a finger at you, "Now that is more how this outfit should look, don't you think," He brings his lips close to your ear, "Deputy?"

You already knew he discovered your identity, yet hearing him admit it brought a new and unsuspected sensation. John grabs your wrist and leads you up the stairs of the ranch to a secluded room away from the party. He tosses you down on the floor with your wrist and turns to lock the door.

"Oh, Deputy." He chuckles, turning to face you. You stay on the floor where he dropped you and stare up at him for his next move. "You have been making an absolute mess around here... Should I ask what you are doing here, or should I assume you've come to get three weeks of sins carved into you?"

You don't answer, which has never worked out well for you in the past; or now.

You grab your gun from it's holster, but John quickly digs his steel-toe boot into your wrist, making you cry out and release the weapon. "I guess I have my answer." John growls. He retracts his foot then hanks you up and forces you into a chair. Without any words, he ties your hands and legs to the chair with quite a bit of resistance from you. Regardless, he didn't speak, which was driving you crazy.

He rips the peggie's tee with a knife down the center and examines the words carved into your flesh. He gives them a perverted smile like a proud artist admiring his work. He looks up to you, which brings his face close to yours. You try to keep your breath to a minimum so he doesn't see you freaking out on the inside.


	9. Chapter 9

"You know..."

John's voice was eerily calm and sent an uneasy chill down your spine. "Last time we were in a situation like this one, things didn't go as I had..." He grabs the top of your jeans firmly like he did in the bunked, "..planned."

His face was closer now; you close your eyes to gather your feelings, but are met with more emotions than logic. You can now feel his steady breath on your face, a hint of alcohol on his breath. Something fancy, nothing the peggies had handed you downstairs.

With your eyes closed, you can focus on every motion his fingers on his free hand make as they trace along the 'Lust' carved into your hip. "Look at me." He whispers. You refuse to give in to his wish.

"Look at me!" He commands in a harsh tone, grabbing your throat now in a turn of emotions. Frightened, you obey and open your E/C eyes to meet his deep blue ones.

John gives you a smile and releases your throat, "This is a party, Deputy... I don't want to be working any more than you do." Curiously, you listen carefully to every word the Baptist says. Working?

He was clearly not himself- a bit tipsy, but definitely not drunk either. "Why did you come here, Y/N" He asks with sheer curiosity.

The sudden informality interests you. He paces in front of you. "If you wanted to kill me... you would have dressed like yourself...

Unless..." he stops and turns his attention back to you obediently sitting in his chair. He narrows his eyes at you as he slowly steps close to you, watching how he affects you the closer he gets. He slips his hand behind your head as before and tangles your hair into his fingers. "I told you.... Sin is infectious." He whispers, his lips less than an inch away from yours.

"And you, my dear, are just like a plague to me." John snaps off the restraint without altering how close his body is to yours. Without hesitation, he closes the gap between your lips and his. The feeling comes back to you and fills your stomach with familiar butterflies. Only this time it's different in the slightest way; no restrictions.

You pull your newly freed hands around to cup his head in your palms while you continue making out passionately with the man who you're meant to kill. He pulls you up by your hem and presses his body against yours, letting himself fill in any curves on your body.

He walks forward, making you shuffle backwards to keep up with the pace of his kisses. A few more steps send you stumbling back against the wall, breaking from his lips. You gasp for air and gaze longingly at the man standing in front of you.

John peels off his vest and silky dress shirt to reveal a pleasingly fit body with more tattoos that you haven't seen before. He joins you and presses his bulge against your jeans while biting and kissing at your neck. You release a soft moan, making the Baptist smirk against your sin. "Why are you here?" He growls in your ear. "I-... I think you know." He forces your jeans off of your legs and removes the rest of the shirt he had cut open, "I want to hear you say it." He demands. You find it easiest to push aside everything you know about this county and give in to your sinful desires, "I want _you,_ John _. I need you."_ You softly whine.

Your words satisfy John, giving him the go-ahead to toss you from the wall and onto the bed. With no time to waste, he removes the rest of his clothes and meets you on the bed. The key to his bunker from his necklace rested between your breasts, sending a cold shiver through your hot body.

The feeling of him inside of you fulfills a strange need that you have been searching for ever since the first time you met the blue-eyed psychopath. You didn't have time for questions and you sure as hell didn't have time for any logic.

"I never should have let you leave." He half admits, hungrily smashing his lips onto yours, forcing his tongue into your mouth. You had no chance to respond to anything other than physically. If you even had that, you seem to be bending to his will like you're some sort of puppet of his. Every movement and every thrust forces a moan from you, partly in pain but mostly from pleasure. Your cries didn't seem to phase him; in fact, you think they were egging him on. You close your eyes and bite down on your lip in an attempt to stay quiet. He pulls your lip from your teeth harshly and whispers to you with heavy breath, "This is all I have wanted since the moment I saw you. And now that I have you, I can't get enough of it."


	10. Chapter 10

A ray of light bursts through a crooked blind to attack you straight in the face, disrupting your sleep. Slowly, you sit up in the bed. Wait, did you sleep here last night and live to see the next day?

You look to your left, but John isn't there. Guess you better leave before he comes back?

You get out of bed and onto your wobbly knees, scanning the floor for the jeans that you were wearing. You slip them on then rummage through the dresser for a smaller looking hoodie that you could pass off as normal attire. After, you quietly make your way down the stairs. You grasp the knob on the front door and slowly twist it. "Well goodbye, Deputy."

The chilling voice stopped you in your tracks. You turn to see John in jeans with a belt and no top; he's relaxing on the sofa beside the fireplace. For a moment, you scan his body and the warm light from the fire catches your interest as it reveals the tattoos on his chest. "Why didn't you kill me? I could easily shoot you where you're sitting." You hiss, partly curious of the answer.

John returns a cynical fit of laugher, "Not now, you won't." You furrow your brows at him and grab your gun, pointing it straight at him. Giving you a smirk, he gets up from his sofa and walks closer to you, knowing how it affects your body when he gets close. He stops when the gun is pressed against his Sloth carving on his chest.

Your eyes wander down to the tip of your gun; you could end it all right now. You could shoot the Seed brother and rip his bunker key off of him and go save Hudson. His words tell you everything you already know, "You won't after what we did."

You say nothing and keep your gun on him, which makes him impatient. "Do it!" He yells in a sudden burst of anger. It makes you flinch and back away slightly. "Show me that wraith you show my people!"

Seeing that you have no intentions on pulling the trigger, John grabs your gun that is in your hand and places it back in your holster where you found it.

"You could stay here." He quietly suggests. You lift an eyebrow, searching his face for authenticity. "Stay..? Now, why would I do that?" You scoff.

"We may as well add Greed to the list of sins you've committed." He responds plainly.

And there it is, there's that sick bastard who only wanted to dig into your flesh and cut it off. "I don't know, John. You seem to have quite a bit of unforgiven sins that I don't see on your body- those seem to all be healed." The anger from your words were displayed on his face, as well as his fist against the wall, "Don't you worry about, Deputy." He hisses, being sure to growl the word 'Deputy' at you to remind you who you're dealing with. It worked, too. You fell silent and let your eyes run from his arm to his body. "Stop." He commands, walking back to where he was sitting. "But... What are they for?" You curiously ask, following him to the sofa like a lost puppy. You take a seat on the same sofa, but on the opposite arm. "Confessions are meant to be private." He states.

You lift your hoodie slightly to reveal the word 'Lust' on your hip. "And this?" You snarl, "Why the he'll don't you have this one, too?" His icy glare is not even the least bit phased when he examines the developing scar. "You let it control you. You allow that sin to get in the way of what you came here to do." He pauses, looking to your eyes now. "It stopped you from putting that bullet in my chest."

Your heart sinks to your chest after you realize he's right. You cover it back up with the hoodie. "So... if confessions are private, you aren't going to tell anyone what it's for?"

John chuckles and plays with a pocket knife he retrieved from his jeans, focusing his attention on how it reflects the fire. "Not until you confess and I can cut it off of you." He sounds pretty excited to think of the day you'll supposedly confess in front of everyone that you had sex with Satan's little brother. He notices the disgust on your face and smiles slightly in return "You will confess, Y/N.."


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *I have warnings in the bio of this story, but just as a warning don't read this is you don't like the thought of blood, maybe?*

The silence between the two of you made the fire sound louder than before, echoing off of the wooden walls. Secretly, you glance from the corner of your eyes to see what John is doing. You discover him to still be twirling and fiddling with the pocketknife. You see a few tiny plane tattoos on the inside of his right arm. "Where'd you get your ink tattoos?" Your voice was a bit too loud cutting through the silence. "My brother." He states.

Well, that wasn't a lot of detail. Okay...

"Did you ask him for certain stuff, or-"

"Are you finished with these questions yet?" He huffs. "Yeah, sorry..."

The silence lasts for a whole 5 seconds before you think of another question, "Why'd you get those?" You ask, extending your finger to the planes. John takes the butt of his knife and whacks your finger with it. The hard metal makes you whine slightly. What the hell was that for?

He gets up, grabs a shirt and vest, then begins his way to to a side door. Curiously, you follow behind him. The door reveals a private hangar connected to the ranch with several planes in it. They are beautiful, especially the one in the front center which must be his favorite to use. It is dark blue like the dress shirt he wears underneath his vest. The accents on it are a glossy black paint without a speck of dust on it.

"These are gorgeous." You quietly whisper, gazing in awe at the planes. John flips a lever and the gate begins to open on the hangar, letting sunlight reflect off the metal. He walks to the blue plane and opens the door to the passenger entrance before going around and hopping in the driver seat.

You peer out to the open sunlight and ponder if you should just run for the forest and leave this all behind.

But, you don't.

You climb into the plane and shut the door. John seems to have a satisfied smirk on his lips, like he had thought the same thing you did about running away. Was that a test?

The propellers buzzed to life; interested, you watched the Baptist operate the plane. You had seen Nick drive a plane before, and it was no different from the skill that John has also.

The plane ride is a pretty quite one; you gaze down at Hope County and start to think about just how small your mission seems in this huge stretch of land. A bit later, John lands at Nolan's Fly Shop in Faith's Region. He hops out and opens your door from your side. Sometimes, you forget how many manners the charismatic lunatic actually has.

"Want this?" He asks as you both walk to the shop, holding out a bliss flower to you. "Absolutely not." You hiss, slapping it out of his hand.

Probably another one of your brightest ideas.

John snaps and grasps your neck firmly in his clutch, lifting you just slightly off your heels, "Don't you EVER touch me like that again, do you understand me?" He scolds. You gasp for air and kick your feet a little, wanting to get down. You nod as a response, making John release your neck, which sends you to your hands and knees. You cough and attempt to regain your breath.

It's hard to remember that John isn't some normal man you can communicate with. He isn't going to get 'soft' just because the two of you had sex. Even Joseph threatens John, and he's his own brother. There is no changing who John Seed is, there is only learning boundaries to avoid switching him to the physical anger like that. Maybe he just thought offering the bliss flower was some weird type of sweet?

John picks out a fishing rod and hands it to you before picking one out for himself. The two of you sit on the dock and cast your bait. There's a long wait with no conversation, if you had to guess- 30 minutes.

"There are two things I want to do right now..." he mutters, focusing on the line. You curiously look at him, knowing he can see you from the corner of his eyes.

"One. I want to pin you down and slice off that wraith carving... I want to hear you confess every life you have taken since you've been in this county. I want to display it for everyone to see and I want your blood to stain the floors of the church. Only then can I dig back into you to complete your list of sins-"

His words knot in your stomach, frightening you to think of that actually happening right now. Although, John knows you won't confess yet; and unless you thoroughly piss him off, he won't make you. Not that that makes the feeling any better.

"And two. I want to take those clothes off with my teeth and I want to hear you begging for my mercy while I drill you into this hard ground. I want to hear you screaming my name and I want to feel your nails digging into my back. I want them to bleed and I want to feel you fighting back to be free of me."

The knots in your stomach start to twist in a different direction. You feel your heart beating faster at his every word, making your body hot and tense. You stare at him with your mouth slightly parted in disbelief of his boldness. His eyes focus on you and glance down to your lips. "Ah, fuck this." He growls, tossing his pole into the water. He forcefully yanks you to his lap and pulls your lips to his.

You know you're still sore, but you also know that you're in no position to object. Missing as little beats as possible, he pulls the hoodie over your head and tosses it beside you. You remove his vest and button-up silk shirt while letting his tongue explore your mouth. As promised, he trails bite marks down your neck and to your bra, removing it with his teeth.

John may be a twisted fuck, but at least what you see is what you get.

John stands up and pulls you up with him by your thighs, digging his nails into your jeans. He sets you down at the base of the dock and lets you remove his jeans, which he returns for yours. He pushes you up against the wall of the Fly Shop and shoves himself into you in one motion. The pain makes you cry out, which makes John moan.

You manage through several deep thrusts before you find a way to break from his desperate kisses. "John, stop- It's hurting." You whine. He ignores your words and bites down on your neck. "John, seriously!" You insist, pushing him off of you. He backs off of you then tosses your body to the ground to get more control over you and make it harder to push off. Fuck, this is what he said he wanted. And something tells you he isn't going to stop until he gets it.

He rams back into you and pins your hips to the cold and hard ground beneath you. You feel your Lust carving burning, almost in irony. The burning makes you dig your nails into his back and cry out. Johns moans against your neck, "Louder, Deputy." You bite your lip and cry out again, just slightly louder than before.

It isn't enough for the sadistic Harold of Holland Valley. You feel something press into your side, something cold and sharp- his pocket knife. "I said _louder."_ He growls. The new pain mixed with the rest of your pain makes you squeeze your eyes shut and scream out "John, please!" You dig your nails deeper into his back, feeling them break skin from how hard you're having to dig to release the pain.

You feel him still pounding in to you regardless if your efforts to push him away or slide out from under him. Everything he had said he wanted, he is getting- and there's nothing you can do about it.

With one last scream from you, and a seductive groan from John, he pulls out and ejects onto your stomach. Panting, he sits up and looks at the bloody knife in his hand. You see your own blood running down his hand and a few spots where it clung onto his sweaty body.

With one last ounce of energy, you look down at your side to see your blood pouring onto the grass and the concrete beneath you. Your breathing gets slowly and your eyes flutter shut from the wound.


	12. Chapter 12

You wake up in a new room, but definitely one that belongs to John Seed's ranch. "I really need to stop passing out and waking up in strange places..." you mutter to yourself.

The setup is creepily identical to the one Nick and the Pastor had set up when you last passed out- water on the nightstand, an outfit folded neatly at the tail of the bed. Only this time, the breakfast food was on a plate beside the glass of water rather than sitting on the stove.

 _It's probably poison, but I think I'll eat it anyway._ You think to yourself sarcastically. In reality, you know he won't poison you at least until you supposedly 'confess.' You scoff at the thought of willingly atoning for some made up belief of the Seed family.

You lift the heat preserver and proceed to take the plate into your lap. It will be nice to finally enjoy a well deserved and fulfilling meal for a change, even though the new wound on your side won't let you forget it is there.

John, or assuming John, must have wrapped it up to keep you from dying. That was... sweet of him?

Is it sweet to take a wolf to the emergency vet if you're the one who shot it?

After your meal, you relax for a while under the silky sheets. You have nowhere to be, and you don't particularly want to see John's face right now... Especially if he's in a fucking human chef mood.

You wait for John to eventually come check on you, but he never does.

Curiosity strikes, forcing you to slide on the outfi- why does John have your dirty and battered Deputy outfit? The one you left at the railway after trading with the dead Peggie...

Right now, you don't have time to even worry about something like that. He probably doesn't want to dirty up anything fancy while he tortures you.

You slowly pace your way down the stairs outside of the bedroom, but the place is dark and seems to be deserted... is anyone home?

You notice the fire place burning through the darkness of the room, shining it's warm glow onto the sofa, which is where you decide to rest your body and your eyes. After all, the loss of blood has weakened you for now.

\- - -

"This one?"

"I'm not sure... How did he know she wouldn't wake before?"

"Are you questioning the Father's plan?"

"No I... uh, let's just do what we came to do, He obviously knew something we don't."

The feint voices didn't bother you while you were on the edge of sleep and reality. For all you know, you're dreaming and four hands didn't just grab you.

Or not.

Your eyes shoot open at the touch to reveal three Peggies standing above you. You whip up and elbow one straight in the face, grabbing his gun and forcing the trigger towards one of his accompanying ass-holes. The third one runs towards the door, shouting loudly for backup. You grab a knife from one of the bodies before chucking it towards the remaining peggie.

Peggies always did make the easiest targets.

You hear peggies rustling outside in panic, meaning they probably didn't all have weapons. You decide it was time to destroy each and every one of them. You grab a gun from one of the bodies and bust out the door shooting off rounds towards the scurrying Peggies.

One rushes you with a shovel, forcing you to use your at-hand combat skills once more. You grab the shovel handle with both hands and twist it harshly, making the peggie fall to the floor. To finish him off, you ram the edge of the shovel between his ribcage. Just before you look up, you get knocked in the back of your head from a large gun handle. Defeated on the floor with blurry vision, you look up to see a roughed up military man known no other than Jacob Seed. He grasps his rifle with a smirk and jabs you one more time to make sure you stay down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I'm so sorry you keep knocking out xD it seems to happen in the game quite a bit, in my defense!


	13. Chapter 13

"She took out fifteen..." A new voice shouted in the distant room as you came to with your consciousness. You examine your surroundings to reveal a church-type vibe and- Hudson?

You and Hudson are both tied up to rolling chairs with duct tape around your mouths. In panic, you look to your Deputy as if she would have the answer you were searching for. Her tear-stained eyes tell you that there is nothing she can tell you about what is about to happen.

Joseph Seed walks into the room, every step he takes is powerful and purposeful. Every decision he made physically was bold and proved his power in this sick operation. Behind him skips Faith, a blissful child-like figure that you haven't seen much of before now. She follows closely to the Father, neither of them paying you or Hudson any mind. As they're walking into the next room, John enters the room from where Joseph and Faith had just come from. Following behind him with a rifle in hand is the brute, Jacob Seed.

You want to spit in his face for knocking you out, but instead you let your eyes follow John as he walks in his brother and sister's steps. His head is pointed down to the floor like a kid who was just told he couldn't have his toy since he didn't eat dinner. Just before reaching the doorway to his next destination, he looks directly into your eyes with a cold and shut-off glance.

You notice Jacob furrows his brows at you in curiosity for the reason behind your lingering watch on his little brother.

Joseph is shouting some sort of scripture to the group of peggies in the other room, who are all screaming in joy and chanting things. The voices are too muffled for you to understand just what either of them are saying.

John disappears into the other room, but Jacob stays behind last second and walks carefully over to you. He takes out his hunting knife and lifts your chin with the flat edge of it, "What a pretty one John's caught himself..."

"Hmm. That's just too bad. What a waste." He chuckles demonically. He turns to Hudson and gives her a simple smirk that makes her start crying again.

You don't even want to know what she's been through, she is the strongest girl you know.

Jacob disappears into the room with the rest of his siblings. Moments later, four Peggies quickly rush to yours and Hudson's chairs- two to each chair. They rush you towards the door and you are rolled out to a stage where Joseph is gesturing where you and Hudson are entering. "My children," he begins, talking out in a strong voice to his crowd. "There will be a reckoning. That is why we started The Project. Because we know what happens next."

Joseph points to you and Hudson, "They will come. They will try to take from us. Take our guns, take our freedom. Take our faith. We will not let them. We will not let their greed, or their immorality, or their depravity hurt us anymore! There will be no more suffering!" You wiggle in your chair trying to escape. What type of fresh hell is this?

The Peggies go wild and start waving their weapons in the air and yelling for you both to be killed. Joseph holds up both of his hands to calm them down. Jacob gets too excited or something and takes out the hunting knife from before and holds it against your neck, making the crowd get excited once again.

The cold steel against your neck makes you tense up and close your eyes tightly. Were you brought here just to be publicly slaughtered? You hold your breath in fear of swallowing the lump in your throat and forcing the blade into your skin. "Stop this." John growls, grabbing Jacob's wrist and yanking it away. You open your eyes to see Jacob smirking curiously, "Why, John?"

They stare one another down with tense glares, daring the other to make another move. "Enough!" Joseph announces. The two brother cease their quarrel and turn to focus on the Father. "Yes, she is a sinner. Yes, she will be judged." Joseph carefully walks over to you, placing his hands on your armrest and leaning in close to your face. "She has yet to atone for what she has done..."

"We are not here to hurt you, Deputy..." You stare back into his eyes that are filtered from his yellow aviators for half of a minute. "Faith, take this one in the other room so everyone can settle down." Joseph quietly requests so he can continue with his sermon.

The young girl gladly takes your chair and rolls you into the room you were originally in. "Oh, let's get this off of you..." She sweetly insists, taking the duct tape corner gently in her fingers. With a smile, she rips the adhesive off in one motion. "Ow!" You shout, wanting to grab your mouth to keep it from throbbing.

"So, you're the Deputy?" She begins, sitting in a chair across the room. "There is absolutely no part of me interested in listening to what you have to say, Faith Seed." You make sure to scoff when her name rolls off your tongue. "Hmm. Suit yourself." She shrugs, playing with her soft blonde hair.

"You're lucky I'm tied up... The second I get out of this chair, you and your whole family are fucking _dead."_ You growl. She raises an eyebrow at you, "Even John?"

The question sets you back, the only thing John had done was stop Jacob from killing you- hardly any reason to think... unless she's playing games with you to make sure the project is safe.

You know it's too late, you have already waited way too long to respond, and her hazel eyes are focusing intensely on you. You swallow the lump in your throat, " _Especially_ him." She smiles in approval, "Great. We'll see about that after you reach atonement."

Before you can respond, John walks into the room. You look away from him in disgust. "Sister, Joseph would like you to be back in there. I will watch the sinner."

You hear his boots coming closer after Faith leaves, but you refuse to look at him. "Deputy." Your eyes dart to his, keeping your mouth in a fine line. "They weren't going to hurt you.. This is just something Joseph does to the sinners we capture like Deputy Hudson there." The crowd in the other room is cheering loudly.

You muster up the courage to spit in his face. John steps back and wipes it off, staring at you in disbelief mixed with rage. He slaps you hard enough to make your chair tip over sideways just as Joseph and the others are walking back in, Hudson rolling behind them with a Peggie.

"John! What have I told you about wrath?" Joseph snarls, getting close to his face. He drops his head, "Yes, Joseph.."

In the background you can see Jacob chuckling at the situation in some sick form of amusement. Joseph walks away, leaving John with his head down and blue eyes watching him leave. When they are gone, he turns to the Peggy, "Take Deputy Hudson back to her room in my bunker."

The Peggy nods and John looks to you, "I will deal with this one."


	14. Chapter 14

The truck ride to the mountains was a very quiet one, but at least John had taken off those stupid restraints. Your silence doesn't seem to bother John; he only speaks when he has something to say, anyway.

The two of you are sitting on the tailgate of his pickup truck, viewing hope county from above. Other than the smoke from edens gate outposts, it was a gorgeous sight. It reminds you of the radio tower; seeing John for the first time on that screen tablet. And now look where you are.

"These people..." John began. His voice flowed perfectly in the harmony of the cold evening air and the gentle winds. Unlike Joseph, John's voice always started out very smooth and clear rather than harsh and loud; it is something you admire about John Seed.

"They aren't looking for your help, Deputy. Look around you, there is nothing but trees stopping them from freedom." He pauses, maybe for effect before continuing, "This is their home. My brother is trying to protect them."

"From what, exactly?" You ask in a sarcastic tone. "The collapse."

Oh... He isn't joking with you right now.

"John, the "collapse" Joseph is talking about? The end of the world? That could be hundreds of years from now." You assure.

"But... What if Joseph is right? Did you ever stop to think about that?" He asks, fixating his deep blue eyes on yours. The question lingers in your stomach and thoughts for a few moments. You've never _actually_ stopped to listen to them. Hell, the first thing you said when you met Faith was basically shut up and fuck off.

John continues, "Everyone thinks hes crazy, but he's not. Look around you, the world is on a brink. You can feel it in your bones." You legitimately look around you when he tells you to; it is as if every word he says in captivating your interests as well as some small glimpse of doubt you've had for a while now.

"You think that you are saving people, Y/N, but they are already safe. We have a plan. I want you to understand. I want you to _care."_

Do you care? Could the sadistic Herold beside you and his whack-job family possibly be right? They obviously believe they are; they believe it so strongly that they are building bunkers and trying to get everyone to believe. You're starting not to blame these people for freaking out about the war- in truth, it affects them too.

"What if I do?" You quietly ask, returning your curious eyes to him. "Then come with me... Be with me in my bunker when the collapse is upon us." He takes your left hand in his, "But, Deputy, I need for you to stop sabotaging this project. The Father has a plan. Trust him, trust _me."_

Your head is spinning now; you can't seem to decipher if John is being sincere, or if he is just trying to manipulate you using emotions.

Now, you start wondering if everything he's done is just some show to make you stop attacking his region.

Before another doubtful thought crosses your mind, John places his lips firmly- yet softly - against yours. Like a dance with the devil, you lean right in to the kiss.

Every time, with no doubt and no hesitation, you will always give yourself to him. Any time, whenever he pleases. Because frankly, you don't want to fight it. You want his love, you want his outrage, you want his touch and, yes, you also want the pain.

This time kissing him and more on the back of his truck felt different. But you're not convinced it will change anything the next day or even in two hours. All you know now is you want to live in this moment of connection and pure bliss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I very much love this scene in the game and I wanted to somehow incorporate it in my story. Obviously I didn't want it under the same circumstances. Lol. But I'm happy with how it turned out. Because hey, who was right in the end? ;)


	15. Chapter 15

A few weeks have passed now, nothing seems to have changed except your undying affection for the Hope County lawyer. You can't help but to now believe he has some sort of true feelings for you buried deep inside his rock hard shell.

John had specifically asked for you to not be outside of the ranch, even on the front porch. What John doesn't know while he's gone won't hurt him, right?

You draw back the string on your bow and aim it towards the pronghorn that you've been tracking. You know you can't keep it after you shoot it, but you can always sell it to some wanderer who couldn't tell your face apart from the next.

Just as you release your arrow, there's a crunch of leaves behind you; the noise startles the pronghorn and allows it to escape. You whip around and see Nick Rye standing over you. "Deputy!" He gleefully shouts. "Right place, right time again I guess..."

He turns and shouts, "PASTOR! GRACE! KIM! YALL GET OVER HERE!"

He turns back to you with a smile- but you are not smiling one bit. "What the hell did he do to you?" Nick asks, finally getting a good look at you. What is that supposed to mean?

You stand up and keep your bow down behind your thigh, watching as the others come into sight. While they're still a good distance away, you grab Nick's sleeve and pull him quickly to coverage, "Nick, no. I am _fine."_ You whisper. He furrows his brows, "The hell you mean you a'right?"

"Listen, I don't expect for you to understand and I know that you think I'm saving this county killing all of those people, but-" Nick cuts you off, "You sound just like John fuckin' Seed."

You sigh,

"I don't want to hurt people anymore, Nick. Just about all of Holland Valley is liberated from the project." You explain.

"Deputy, we still need you. We've got people in the Nor-"

"Nick, I will help you okay? I need for you to trust me. Listen," you pull his sleeve so he will follow you further away for more coverage. You find a fallen tree with a large trunk that the two of you can hide under. Nick seems confused still.

"Everything the Seed family has done to you, I know that you hate them. But I can fix this, I think, without having to kill anyone else. Please let me explain." You plead.

He shakes his head, "Man, I don't understand any of you people. You realize he's manipulatin' you dont'cha, Deputy? I mean, look at ya', you look like my dog Blue did 'fore we hadda put him down."

"Nick, stop. This is hard enough to say as is." His words bother you; in truth, you haven't looked in a mirror lately.

Nick closes his eyes and takes a breath, "Fine, fine... I'm listenin'."

Nick has always been your closest friend in the resistance, even if he doesn't understand something he listens and tries to see your point of view anyway. There is no one else who would jump to your side as fast as he would.

"You told me before that your family doesn't like Kim very much... You also told me that you wanted to leave Hope County just before Eden's Gate began. You knew it was trouble and just wanted your wife and daughter to be safe. _Your family_ wanted you to leave. Yet, despite your family, you stayed. Why?"

Nick gave it some thought and concluded to an easy answer, "Kim wanted to stay; it's because I love 'er." You nod, "Why didn't you make her leave?" You ask.

"She wanted to fight for our life we had built together and for our house and friends... And, well- Some things are just worth fightin' for." Nick responds, starting to get an idea of what you are explaining. You smile at his response.

"Exactly," You begin, grabbing his hand for reassurance, "As hard as this is to admit to you, John Seed is my 'something worth fighting for.' I know he's not the monster you think he is. Yes, he's done some pretty fucked up shit; so have I... But you don't give up on the people you love."

Nick hesitates, yet he can't help but smile a little. "I don't know him- but I know you, Y/N. And if you have the chance to be even half as happy as Kim makes me, then I couldn't ask for anything less for you." He gently squeezes your hand to comfort you.

"Thank you so much, Nick." You wrap your arms around him and he hugs you back tightly as if it's the last time he'll be able to hug you. "Do not tell the others Nick, understand me?"

He nods, "You let me know if you ever need a plane or somethin'; ya know where to find me."

"Nick, where are you?" You hear Kim yell in the close distance. "Go, please be safe." He says, letting you go from the hug.

Before the others get too close, you slip out and run back towards where you came from- John Seed's Ranch. Ugh, you wish you could just teleport like some type of fast-travel feature.

You break through the tree-line and stop dead in your tracks, staring in awe at the ranch that was half up in fire and smoke before your eyes. There are dead bodies scattered all over the premises, both Peggies and Resistance Members alike.

What has happened?!

You let your bow and quiver drop to the ground, but you can't even muster the strength to cover your parted lips.

You hear desperate tires spinning to a stop behind you; you turn around to see John's truck halting before you. He jumps out quickly and sees the tears in your eyes before he takes a look at the damage he must have been radio'd about.

"What happened." He states, rather than asks. You can't speak; you're too _ashamed_ to speak. You have no idea what happened because you weren't here to see it. John looks to the bow on the ground and connects a few dots.

The wrong dots.

"You....-" You see anger boiling up in him. You figure he's angry about his ranch until he slams the hood of his truck with his fist, comes close to you and grasps your neck all seemingly in one swift motion. "You lied to me!" He growls, squeezing tighter.

"Just when I think someone can come in and give a damn, I am shown just _why_ sins are meant to be punished." He takes out his pocket knife with his free hand- "No!" you scream- he stabs it into your shooting shoulder, making you scream loudly as he tosses you to the ground. "I trusted you!" He yells.

"John, you don't understand!" You cry, "I didn't do this!"

He was in no mood for explanations.

"Here," John scoffs; he tosses his bunker key necklace at your face. "This is all you came here for- take it. Just know who the real monster is in this, Deputy." Your heart sinks when you hear the disgust returning to his lips on the word 'deputy.' "John, I-"

"You _say_ I hurt people, you _say_ I sin as much as you do- but at least I don't _pretend_ I care... I should have gutted you like a pig when I had the chance." He shouts, pacing in frustration. "Let me explain!" You whine, wincing in uncontrollable pain. "Leave. Stay. Live. _Die._ I do not care what you do, Deputy. But if you decide to stay, then I will show you just as much mercy as I do your little princess Deputy Hudson."

John hops in his truck and zooms out of sight. You are left crying and holding your shoulder in pain.

You push away the situation for a moment to focus on your shoulder and the pocket knife sticking out of it. You scramble for your quiver to retrieve your emergency bandages and alcohol. Once you grab everything, you grasp the knife and pull it out with a painful shriek, quickly patching it up with the materials at hand.

You crawl to your feet and examine the buildings; oddly enough, the main cabin wasn't touched. 

You decide it will be best to stay. You have to, after all you just told Nick Rye that you can't give up on the people you love. When John comes back after he's calmed down, then he will let you convince him that none of this was your fault.

You wipe your eyes. It is going to be fine... John feels hurt right now, but you can help him to understand soon enough. You walk inside the door to the living room with the fire place and set your bow, quiver, and the bunker key necklace onto the entry table.

Of course you want Hudson to be safe, but you need it to be on John's terms rather than a result of his rage and broken trust.

There's a feint clicking noise just moments before you feel a sharp pain in the back of your thigh. Your vision gets blurry as you're turning your leg to examine it,

"Bliss... Bullet...?"


	16. Chapter 16

Your eyes open to reveal a small room that you are seated in; there is only a feint red light from a projector shining onto the wall, showing no image in particular.

The place reeks of dried blood and rotting bodies. You look down to see two small metal prongs extending from the chair and piercing through both of your wrists. Your arms and legs are concealed to the chair with belts, not that you would dare move your wrists in fear of pushing the metal further into you.

The chair has a cord trailing to a close by outlet, leading you to believe it's an electric chair. "Y'know, Deputy..." The rough voice splits through the buzzing of the projector. "If it were up to me, you'd have been dead a long time ago..." The man steps out from behind you into the light of the projector, lighting up His military uniform and allowing his dog tags to reflect the light.

Your heart drops straight down to your stomach when you finally recognize the man- Jacob Seed.

He steps closer to you, placing his palms over your wrists and leaning down to get closer to you. You can see your shadow covering some of the light on his face. You wince in pain at the metal prongs digging deeper into you.

"Hmm... I don't get it. You're weak, why you?" He mutters, scanning your face. "So, tell me Deputy-"

He lets go of your wrists and takes out the recognizable hunting knife, holding it horizontal between his hands. "What was your sin?" He looks up at you with a devilish smirk on his face.

You say nothing. You have too much hatred and far too much fear to breath a word. "Okay." He chuckles, "I would never have thought you would take the easy way, anyway."

Jacob steps closer to you once again and grabs your shirt before slicing down it with the hunting knife until it's split in half. "Ah! Wrath! I should've known." He laughs, examining the scar John carved into you. "Oh, what happened to your shoulder, Deputy?" He cuts off the bandages that were protecting your fairly new wound. "Hm, still pretty fresh... Did _John_ do this?" He asks, lingering on his brother's name in a sing-song voice to mock you. You press your lips into a fine line. "Yes." You mutter.

He lets the knife blade trail down to the developing scar on your side, "And this?" You clench your jaw, "Yes..." Jacob chuckles, but his smirk instantly fades.

You feel the cold metal sliding along your jeans. Instantly, you know exactly what it is he has discovered. A few letters poking out from above your jeans. You close your eyes tight, scared for the inevitable confirmation of Jacob's suspicions. You feel him hank down your jeans enough to reveal the 'Lust' scar on your hip bone.

"Two sins, huh?" Jacob pops the button on your jeans and then slides his knife underneath of your bra. "I want to see them." Skillfully, he cuts through your bra without putting a scratch on your body. "Jacob, no. Just please let me go." You beg, trying to keep your fears at bay.

"And go where, Deputy? Back to John?" Jacob takes a seat in a roll chair across from you, "He's the one who sent me to take you off his hands."

"You're lying." You snap back. "No? He told me you were the one who was lying to him. He goes and he trusts you... what did it get him? Right,... half of his ranch burned down."

"I had nothing to do with that."

"No? How could you not have? After all, you are the leader of the resistance; the _hero._ " He snickers, standing from his hair and walking slowly between the edges of the projector. "Now what are you, Deputy?" He asks.

He waits a few moments for a response he already knows you won't give him. He gets close to you again, "You're alone. And you're weak. And, well-" He laughs softly in your face, pulling his lips close to your ear, "We know what happens to the weak..."

He places an unwanted kiss underneath of your ear; you try pulling your face away from him. "Get comfortable, I may be a while."

Jacob grabs his knife and exits through the foggy door, but not before clicking a button on the remote from his pocket.

The projector shines flashes of images of John Seed torturing innocent people and kids.

Pathetic. Does Jacob really think you're going to fall for this?

A picture flashes of John and Nick Rye. Nick is signing a property contract while John's leaning over the table to supervise. Underneath the gap of his arm, you can see a Peggie holding a gun against a crying Kim Rye.

You close your eyes tight, not wanting to see any of this. Just a moment of squeezing them, the chair buzzes to life and your body pulsates with electricity.

Your heart jumps as you shriek loudly in pain from the chair. You open your eyes, making the chair stop. What type of sick bastard is this man? And why is he doing this?


	17. Chapter 17

There were very few days that you were allowed to go without seeing the horrors John has inflicted on the town.

Today, however, was not one of those days. Not that it matters; the days when you don't watch the videos are almost worse since you are left alone with your thoughts.

You hear Jacob's voice break through over a speaker, "He doesn't love you, Deputy." His voice is harsh and convincing. In fact, you were starting to wonder if this was the soldier's weird way of helping you.

"You think he cares about you? Well, he told these people he cared about them also." The words sink in once again like a cold knife in your back while you examine the photos to go along with his story. Every time he would put you through this, it opened up a new wound. "My brother is a lawyer, sweetheart. He lies and manipulates people every day to get exactly what he wants..."

The picture of him and Nick pops up once again.

"When he's done with them, he disposes of them like a used napkin." Jacob pauses and you can almost feel his smirk through the speaker. "That's why he sent me to get rid of his used up toy."

Jacob walks back into the room from the foggy red doorway. "You're the one the cowards call their hero." He walks around your chair slowly, examining you carefully. You don't appreciate the creepy change in topic; what is he up to now? "You don't seem like much to me. Why would they believe that a pathetic piece of waste could 'save them'?

He stops and removes your wrists from the metal prongs. You can feel it sliding out of you, making you experience an uncomfortable pain. Nevertheless, you are glad he's taking them out.

You look into his eyes; Do all of them have gorgeous eyes? Just a side thought.

You gather your courage back, refusing to be defeated. "I might not seem like much to you, Jacob. But I will single-handedly wipe out yours and your psychotic little family's entire fucking operation. Starting with you." You growl, narrowing your eyes at his.

"Oh yeah?" Jacob laughs, "Even John?"

His words remind you of when Faith had asked the exact thing. You took too long to answer and you weren't going to make that mistake again. You remember a video Jacob showed you about John hurting Deputy Hudson- "He tortured my friend..."

The image of John and Nick flashes into your mind, "He tortured _all_ of my friends... innocent people." You squeeze your eyes shut and grab the sides of your head with your newly freed hands trying to make the images go away. "He took everything from this town and he took everything from _me."_

You take a few deep breaths, trying to calm down the odd sensation of rage dwelling inside of you, "I..." you look directly back into Jacob's eyes, "I want him to feel the pain I have felt. The pain that HE GAVE TO ME!" You shout, struggling in your chair.

Jacob smirks, proud of his work. "You are almost ready..." He observes.

Ready for what?

Jacob props himself up on his thighs, squatting in front of your chair so his head is level with your chest.

"You're compelled by your emotions- your wrath." He explains, touching his roughened finger against the scar on your chest. You notice he glances again at the other sin you have etched onto your skin. "I feel nothing." You scoff.

"Interesting... So you wouldn't mind if I were to kiss you right now? You wouldn't- I dunno- try to cut my eyes out if I let you go from your restraints?" Jacob fiddles with one of your belt straps, but you can tell he has some selfish desires behind the 'hypothetical' question.

You knew he had a plan, but wasn't aware yet as to what that plan was.

One final test?

You decide to play his games, "What is that?" You smirk, forcing him to look back up at you. You bring your face as close as you can get it within the range your seat allows. "Greed, Jacob? Lust, maybe?" You sarcastically sneer. Jacob presses his lips together and furrows his brows at you, "Deputy, I know you aren't provoking me."

You don't respond, instead you match his face and just stare back at him. You didn't expect him to call you out on your shit so now you have to think of something new to say.

Before you get the chance to develop a clever response, Jacob crashes his lips onto you, stealing your breath straight from your body. His kiss was so much different than his brother's were; it wasn't as desperate. As you kiss Jacob, you realize it was never really Lust that you felt for John- you felt something deeper and meaningful.None of that mattered anymore...He has desensitized you- you are truly alone now and you believe him when he told you John will never love you like you love him- or, loved?

Jacob left just the one kiss on your lips before standing back up. He looks down at a hopeless and defeated Deputy sitting lifelessly in his chair. Jacob smiles; his work is done. Your face is pointed down, but you can see the lights from the projector shut off.

Jacob takes off all of your restraints and walks out the door, shutting it behind him this time. You look down blankly at your wrists where the metal previously resided. The pain pulsing from them doesn't even compare to the pain in your heart. Everything you shared with John starts to feel like a bliss-induced hallucination. _'You still have a job to do, Deputy...'_ you tell yourself in your head.

_'You need to keep fighting for the resistance. You need to fight for Deputy Hudson... As much as he means to you, you need to kill John Seed.'_


	18. Chapter 18

_'You need to get out of here.'_ A voice of reason pleads from within you. You aren't constricted to your chair anymore, so you don't know why you find it so hard to leave it.

' _Your friends need you, Y/N. Get up!'_

You push yourself put of the chair and look around you for any sort of weapon. You notice the hunting knife Jacob left on the table.

Bingo!

You feel your Deputy-mode returning to your veins as you pick up the blood-ridden knife. Step one: escape. That is all you need to focus on right now.

You sneak your way out of the door and through a foggy hallway; you hear feint screams in the distance as well as soft howling. Ah, the lovely sounds of The North.

You sneak up on a peggie and take him out quietly with the knife- right into the side of his neck. You search his body for a pistol or some better weapon than just a knife.

Damn, nothing.

Several Peggies later, you finally reach a room on the second story with an open window leading to the roof. If you can take out the Peggie, then you can crawl out and jump from the roof. Yes, it will hurt- but it won't kill you.

You smile to yourself, glad to find your Deputy self lurking inside still.

You notice the Peggie has a pistol, but he is fortunately facing the window. You grasp your knife and sneak quietly towards the cultist, careful not to let the floor creak under you. You slowly stand up and kick in his knees before slicing through his neck. The Peggie falls to the ground; you crouch to search him when you hear a voice behind you.

"If you really wanted to keep people safe, Deputy, to be a _hero_... then you'd just kill yourself off. It's safer for everyone that way." You hear a few steps behind you, but you keep your eyes on the Peggie's body in case you need to grab the gun. You know he isn't done with his story, so there is no need to act prematurely.

"You were the most dangerous thing I've seen is Holland Valley... a distraction." He pauses, "John may not have completed The Father's Will if we allowed you to stay there in his grasp. Regardless if he would have or not, it wasn't a chance we were willing to take."

You can hear Jacob pacing slightly behind you; you try to keep tabs on where he is in the room. "It doesn't matter what my family builds to keep this county safe, _you always_ find a way to destroy it.... until you met John."

Your genuine curiosity keeps you from moving; Jacob laughs calmly to himself, "Y'know, Deputy... your friends at Fall's End? You should ask them why they haven't come to look for you... Ask them if they know where you've been the past few weeks- better yet, ask them _who sent me to find you."_

Jacob laughs more to himself after waiting for a response that doesn't come. "I needed to separate you from John, and they needed their Deputy back... But..." he pauses, his voice lowering a few tones.

"I never thought you would want to kill him. I see now I've done my job _too well._ " You hear him, possibly, take something from his pocket. "Joseph had better plans for you," you hear a slight click, "but I'm afraid I cannot let you jeopardize this project any further, Deputy."

Your gut kicks you, yelling for you to act now or be fish food within seconds. All in one swift motion, you grab the pistol and turn to aim at the man who has his own gun pointed straight towards you.

You pull the hairline trigger towards the Harold of the Whitetail Mountains. Unfortunately, you didn't actually hit him; yet, it was enough to distract him and allow you to make your escape off of the roof.

Your feet hit the ground and you instinctively tell them to start running for the woods. You can hear Jacob shouting in the distance to release the judges, followed by howls and barking.

What was Jacob saying? First he tells you that John sent him to capture you after he blamed you for attacking his ranch. Then, he tells you that the resistance sent him because they wanted you to hate John again? Was he telling the second truth the second time since he was planning to kill you regardless if you knew?

More importantly, was he telling the truth that John never cared for you? After all, he did claim to care about everyone who is desperately seeking your help to end this project.

You don't know what to believe from what to assume are just mind games the sick bastard used to torture you. What you knew now was step 2: _run._


	19. Chapter 19

Once you reach the familiar town of Falls End, you allow yourself to collapse on the dirt path underneath your cold and weak body. You painfully cough up blood onto the road; Boomer starts loudly barking at you from 10 or so feet away.

You see Mary Mae run out of the bar when she notices what Boomer is barking at. "Someone help!" She yells, running to your aid. She drops down beside you, "Deputy? Can you hear me?"

You nod gently, "I'm fine... Just a bit... Thirsty." Your voice is soft and breathless; you can't remember the last time Jacob gave you something to drink. You assume he knew just how much to give you to keep you just barely alive.

A bunch of people from the town run over to you and Mary May, including the Pastor and Nick Rye. Drew picks you up and carries you to the Spread Eagle and gently rests you onto one of the waiting sofas. "Get her some water, quick!" Mary demands, pointing to the bar. Pastor Jerome grabs a glass for you, which you gulp down like no tomorrow.

"Thank you... I'd really just like to rest." You mutter, trying not to spit up more blood or the water you just drank. "You can stay with us." Kim suggests, looking to Nick for confirmation. Nick nods, "Absolutely."

Pastor Jerome scans everyone involved in the conversation, "But what about John? We need a plan to-" Kim cuts him off, "Pastor, this is no time for that right now. She'd be less than useless in this state, anyhow... Come with us, Deputy." She insists.

You just slightly narrow your eyes at Pastor Jerome, remembering what Jacob had told you about the resistance sending him to find you. Quite honestly, it is starting to make sense.

You let Kim and Nick stand you on your feet and assist you towards their truck. "It's gonna be jus' fine, you'll see." Nick promises, getting you up into the truck. Kim buckles you in to make sure you're safe.

"You are both going to be amazing parents..." you whisper lifelessly, forcing half of the smile they deserve. "Thank you, Y/N." Kim responds.

They take you back to their aviary and shows you to the spare bedroom. "Nick, do you mind if I talk to you for a minute?" You ask, letting your body go limp on the bed. "Sure thin'," He turns to Kim and lets her know he will be down soon.

Nick sits on the seat beside your bed, "Are you okay?"

You nod, although you aren't too okay right now- you will be. "Nick, I came to this place for a reason... I intend on finishing it."

You sit cross-legged on the bed and stare at the edge of it while you talk to Nick. He notices the knife sticking out of your holster. "Who?" You begin softly, "Who did you tell I was with John, Nick?"

"I mean I told Kim. She can read me like a book." He responds. Kim isn't who you're worried about and frankly, that's not the name you were looking for. "Well, I did also tell the Pastor."

Bingo.

You laugh to yourself, much like you remember Jacob doing before he tried putting a bullet in your skull, "He sent him to break me, didn't he?" You look up to where Nick is sitting; he nods shamefully.

You don't blame Nick. Hell, you don't even blame Pastor Jerome- you would have done the same exact thing because it is your duty to do so. "What did Jacob do t'you?" Nick carefully grabs the knife from where it is resting. You let him take the knife; you don't want it near you anymore, anyway. "It doesn't matter, it worked."

You lay back on the bed and close your eyes, "After I get some rest we can talk about getting Hudson out of that God-forsaken place."

"Y/N, y'ur scarin' me... This ain't you." You look up at him helplessly and with an apparent pain in your eyes, "Let me introduce myself then... I am the Deputy- I have been sent here to gather my crew and free your county from an evil cultist group." You close your eyes again, forcing a teardrop not to fall, "Nothing else..."

\- - -

You wake up from a horrible nightmare about your time in Jacob's dungeon and about the things that you saw on the projector screen. While panting , you have to take a moment to gather yourself and grasp back on to reality. You take the back of your hand and wipe it across your sweaty forehead.

You notice after investigation that Nick and Kim aren't home, so you decide to head on to Fall's End by yourself. Upon arrival, you close your eyes and take a deep breath.

Today is the day you end it all for the cultists residing in Holland Valley.

You gently open the door to the truck and slowly make your way into the Spread Eagle Bar. You see everyone of importance surrounding a table full of papers and maps.

Everyone looks at you when you enter the bar; their faces seem questionable towards you from some reason.

You approach the table and see blueprints of John's bunker. Seeing a small print of the Baptist peaking out from under the blueprint makes your heart drop to your stomach. You would have given him everything. More importantly, you could have saved him- but now, you have to kill him.

"Deputy, can you handle this? We can arrange something else if y-" You hold up your hand to stop him- "No, that won't be necessary I will do this myself."

The Pastor takes your hands in his tightly and looks into your E/C eyes, "Good luck, Deputy... Our finest soldiers have chosen to fight alongside you... please bring Deputy Hudson home."

You nod then take your guns that were brought here for you. You remember the days using each weapon without care when you weren't so deeply involved in this project.

You get into an armored truck with Grace and three other special force soldiers. You stare at the "Whitetailer" gun resting in your lap.

Today is the day you kill the man you once loved and rescue the girl you once served.


	20. Chapter 20

Your heart is beating faster with every step you take inside of John Seed's bunker. The feeling was a mix between being nervous to succeed in your mission and pure adrenaline. Grace is covering the outside of the bunker with one of the soldiers, leaving two men to aid at your side.

You creep your way through the bunker, silently taking out any Peggies you come across.

You see the words of John plastered all over the walls, yet you don't hear his voice over the speakers like the last time.

The three of you reach a control with with several monitors. One man stands guard at the door while the other one stands guard beside you as you search the database. "Okay, we have to go through the north staircase to get down to the lower levels, which I assume is where he's keeping Hudson."

"Can you be sure?" The man beside you asks, glancing down at you. You huff then type on the computer- "Maybe, I will need a minute."

"We don't have a minute." The soldier at the door growls, turning to look at you. You ignore him until you hear loud voices followed by gunshots behind you.

Not good.

Until now, everything has been stealth. Now, your cover has been compromised. You turn quickly to see the soldier shooting back from the doorway.

By instinct, the other soldier and you take cover at opposite corners of the control room. You can hear more Peggies shouting as well as sirens per lockdown protocol. "Fuck! Run, Deputy! We have to get to the Northern Stairway!" The soldier shouts.

You get on your feet quickly and leave your fear behind you as you run through the dark hallways; at least now you can shoot the cultists rather than having to be sneaky.

The three of you book it to the stairway before any of the doors can lock you out of the stairway... You can worry about getting out later.

You all make it to the bottom of the stairs, "I need one of you to guard these stairs. No Peggies can get through, but I need for you to be silent." The soldier who was beside you in the control room decides to stay behind.

The other soldier and you go into stealth, sneaking through the room at opposite sides of the room to avoid any surprises. The hallway opens up into a narrow room where you can hear muffled cries.

Your blood pumps and your hair stands on end- it has to be Hudson.

You realize you've lost sight of your partner by going too fast from your burst of adrenaline. You hear a voice from further back.

Shit!

You slowly creep your way back where you came to find your soldier. You can see around the corner of a crate that he had lost grip of his gun and you can see the tip of a Peggie's gun pointed towards him while he's on his knees.

You decide to do what any worthy Deputy would do for her unit; you line yourself up where the Peggie must be then jump over the box and hold your pistol up their head, cocking your trigger to let the Peggi-

_John Seed?_

There's a moment before John looks at you where you are left to identify him in solitude. Seeing pictures or memories of him is a lot different than seeing him in the flesh again. The feeling was one you didn't expect, but was one you were hoping you could feel again.

You snap yourself back into reality and correct the gap between your lips to a hard line, trying to remember the mission laying ahead of you.

Your heart skips a few beats when you see his piercing blue jewels dart to the corner of his eyes to see his challenger. You can't tell if he can make out who you are from the darkness in the room. "Drop the gun or I will drop you." You growl in a lower register than your voice is used to.

John slowly lowers his gun to point away from the soldier without noticing his grip is getting softer. He turns his face slightly towards you, "Deputy...?" He softly questions.

Although your faces softens up from the sound of his familiar voice, you stand your ground with shaking hands and tears threatening to fall down your face.

_You can't do it_.

You can't and you knew coming into this mission that there was a chance you would not be able to follow through with this. Part of you had convinced yourself that you could rescue Hudson without ever having to see John's face. Unfortunately, that was the part that you listened to.

"J-" You notice from the corner of your eye that the soldier is scrambling quickly for the gun he had dropped. "John!" You scream, turning your pistol from his face to putting a bullet through your partner.

You stare wide-eyed and open-mouthed at the soldier's body falling limply to the floor. What have you done!?

Tears are disrupting your vision now from the gradual realization as you come out of shock.

You hear the other soldier approaching the room; John yanks you backwards deeper into the room and takes cover with you. "Y/N, what the hell are you doing here?" He demands, holding onto you as tight as he physically can and peaking out of the cover to keep tabs on the soldier who has just discovered the body. "Hudson..." is the only word you can squeak out of your mouth.

You let your eyes follow John's coat and up to his perfectly chiseled face. You've missed that. Even though his grip on your arm is hurting, you've missed his touch also. More than anything, you missed the sensation that he could possibly care about you- even if he truly doesn't like Jacob claims.

If he doesn't care, then why is he hiding you from facing your comrade?

Shit, he's going to find you both... Unless, "Take me." You breathe, looking helplessly into the two blue eyes that have returned their focus to you. "What?"

"Take me, John. Let Hudson go with him and he will assume the worst has happened to me.... She is all we are here for. Please." You plead, "You can do everything you've done to her, I do not care... Show me no mercy, it doesn't matter I just can't keep ignoring the truth."

John furrows his brows at your words, curious why you would willingly volunteer to take Hudson's place. "The truth, Deputy?"

You were both running out of time, although his curiosity needed validation before he can make a decision. "I..." You want so badly to tell him how you feel. You want to scream that you love him and you want to feel his lips back on yours.

But you don't. You can't.

"Because, I'm ready to confess."

His eyes quickly scan your face, trying to find any trace of deviance in your words, but he is out of time now. John turns and grabs your face firmly between his palms, closing the gap between you and his lips desperately. All of the butterflies from before come rushing back to you in this pure moment of bliss; he leaves your side and disappears to the back of the room.

Moments later, you can see the boots from the soldier around the corner of your cover. You slide further back in hopes that he won't discover you. "Please, Help!" You hear Hudson scream- the soldier bolts in the direction of the shouting.

You hold your breaths as long as you can, trying to wait for what happens next.

The silence is shattered by the sound of a gunshot.

_John!_

You gasp and cover your mouth tightly as tears fill your eyes. You see the soldier running with Hudson back to the stairs.

Waiting until the two are far enough away, you jump out of your cover and see the lifeless body laying in the dark at the end of the room. "John!" You cry out.

_'No! It can't end like this-'_ You think to yourself, _'You can't leave me again when you've just gotten me back...'_


	21. Chapter 21

You let yourself collapse to your knees and bury your face into your hands. It's okay now to be weak, it is okay to let everything catch up to you. Maybe this is what you need.

You allow yourself to cry in your hands as every event catches up to you in the moment. Every jab of pain you've felt, every tear you've held back to remain _The Deputy_ , the strong leader who could feel nothing.

You are broken now, and alone... Just how Jacob told you you'd be.

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There won't be any more death. There won't be any grief, crying, or pain, because the first things have disappeared... I am making everything new, for these words are faithful and true." You quickly look to see John standing between you and the body that you assumed was his. "John!" You cheer, jumping up and wrapping your arms around his.

John holds you tightly and buries his face into your hair; he deeply inhales and squeezes his eyes shut while he holds you.

You could die in his arms right now and that would be just alright.

He pulls his head away to plant another kiss on your lips. He can't seem to get enough of them, either. Every kiss he gives you makes you both crave it more and more... you've missed these kisses.

John lets his hands explore your every curve all over again like it's the first time he's got the chance to touch you. He turns you and backs you up against the bunker wall until he was pressing against you, denying you of a solid breath of air.

It's only when he stops kissing you to take off your tank top that you finally get to catch your breath. He runs his finger over every scar that he created on your body, "Did you mean it? When you said you were ready to confess?" He asks. One by one, you unlatch the buttons from his shirt.

You take a deep breath, "Yes..."

The word makes John smile slightly to himself. "It is going to be very painful, Deputy- but I promise it will be worth it when you reach atonement."

You slide off his shirt and admire his body all over again, "But not right now..." You half tell him, half ask.

John smirks at you, "You have one more sin to commit, first." He grabs you and tosses you to the ground before joining on top of you without a beat to spare. John holds your wrists over your head and continues making out with you desperately. He starts to trail his kisses down your neck, leaving you to softly moan when he bites your skin softly.

He switches your wrists to being under one of his hands and he uses the other to undo your jeans, but then stops and gets up.

Like a dog, you whine when his body leaves yours; you gaze up at the Baptist longingly and reach for his touch. He grabs the outstretched hand, but pulls you up with it.

"What's wrong?" You ask with a soft whine. "Follow." He demands, taking your wrist into his grasp. Why can't he just hold your hand?

He leads you into a familiar room complete with low lighting and sharp tools. You recognize it as the place where this all began. Why would he bring you back? Is this a fond memory he associates with you?

Well, I guess carving into people's skin does make the lawyer happy and excited. He lets go of you and takes a few steps towards the metal table. "I don't really-" You start, before getting a stern "Shh-" from John.

You obey then watch him grab a sharp scalpel type tool and examine both sides of it.

Great, he's going to go ahead and slice your sins off?

The frustration on his face turns into anger; John throws the tool at the wall and slams his fist on the metal table, causing your body to jump. You don't dare to speak.

"For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world." He verbally thinks, talking in a clear voice. You watch him pace and practically argue with himself.

He turns and points to you, "You." He scoffs, stepping closer, "Why did you leave me? WHY did you attack my ranch?"

He flips open his pocket knife with his free hand. Despite the blood rushing through your veins, you stand your ground to explain- it would probably be your only chance, "I didn't, John... And your brother took me from you."

"My brother?" John curiously asks.

"Yes," You turn over your wrists to show him the marks, hoping he would recognize them- "Jacob took me."

John stares blankly at your wrists; it didn't seem to be the answer he wanted, however. He needed to find a reason to hate you so he wouldn't have to admit to himself that it wasn't just lust or greed he felt for you, but something deeper and true- this scared the young brother.

"Hey..." you softly speak, feeling like you broke the poor man. "You don't have to have an answer right now..."

He sighs and puts away his knife, "Depu- Y/N.... I do have an answer, I do not particularly _like_ the answer."

He holds your waist delicately in his hands. "I need you to understand that it isn't because I have to get you to atone- I want you to, I want your blood spilling onto my sleeves and my knife... I love watching your conscience slip away from the blood I've taken from you. But that doesn't mean I don't still-" His voice is soft, but his words are harsh and frightening until he trails off at the end.

John frustratedly takes away his hands and runs them through his hair, accidentally knocking his sunglasses onto the floor. The noise from his glasses hitting the floor tips him over one edge or another. He grabs your waist in the same place, but much tighter this time and slams his lips onto yours- forcing his tongue to have free roam of your mouth. He turns you both around and backs you up until the metal table starts digging into your back.

You softly moan and lean into his kisses. You couldn't help but feel the underlying _'I love you,'_ that seemed to be at the end of his little speech. Although you knew he couldn't say it, you hope that he knows you can feel it hidden in him somewhere. Maybe some day he'll be able to open up- but there was no rush. Right now all you want is to feel him inside of you and to have his body against yours.

John wastes no more time removing the rest of yours or his clothing. You could tell he was still in conflict with himself, but you were willing to let him exert his frustration onto you... you are his release.

The cold surface leaves chill bumps all over your otherwise hot body. John takes you by your hips and gets you both on top of his table.

You fully give your body to John, kissing him back passionately every time you felt his soft lips pressing against yours. His hand trails down and allows one finger, followed by another, stick inside of you. You allow a soft moan escape while you continue making out. The sound makes John groan and hook his fingers inside of you. "John," you moan longingly, having to pull away from his lips.

He smirks and watches your face while he twists his fingers around inside of you. He loved to see how much he could affect you. "Do you want me inside of you, Y/N?" He seductively asks, slipping a third finger in with the other two. You bite your lip and moan, giving him a childish nod.

His lips twist into a line, "Words, Deputy." He growls, pressing his fingers deeper inside of you. "Yes!" You cry out, arching your back slightly. The handsome Harold smirks, approving of his slogan leaving your lips.

He quickly replaces his fingers and drives deep inside of you, not giving you the chance to adjust for comfort in the true John Seed spirit.

You can't help but love it- something about the pain turned John on, which in return turned you on also. You could feel a few stray tools poking into your back, but you used your nails and John's back as a distraction and release for the pain.

"You're never leaving my sight again." John growls, making you cry out when he pumps deeper inside of you.

"Never let me." You breathless reply, never wanting this moment to end.

You still desperately want to tell him you love him, so he can say it back. But doing so would be selfish and straight evil to push the Baptist into having to admit.

You find it best to leave it as unspoken bond until the day he is ready to open up, if that day ever comes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I found it unlikely that John Seed's character would ever admit to caring about someone who he has just let into his life. His past is too crippling for emotional clarity and certainly too painful to trust someone enough to let them know they have a piece of his heart. Which, you do. I'm sure part of him knows that you know. I'm thinking I will have one or two more chapters to wrap this up. Thank you for everyone who has read my story ♡


	22. Chapter 22

It has been just a few months since the day you reunited with John. Days that John would leave for his job to do- Lord knows what, were the days that you would visit Nick Rye and Deputy Hudson.

Hudson took a very long time to accept that you wanted to be with John. You understood, of course, why it was so hard for her. In truth, you didn't think she would ever forgive you. She had been through so much pain and agony while she was with him, so she didn't understand why you would willingly take her place. However, she eventually came to terms with your decision because she knew that you went to his bunker that day with full intentions on killing him and rescuing her- plus you convinced him to let her go.

Hudson believes that you can turn him around and get him to separate from the rest of his siblings. You don't necessarily believe that yourself, but the fantasy that you could have that type of persuasion over the Harold of Holland Valley gives you hope.

Hudson has taken over the majority of your role for the resistance- destroying silos and liberating the outposts in Holland Valley. As for you, you have continued to help the resistance in the East and the North to John's discomfort.

Although he doesn't enjoy you terrorizing his siblings and interfering with the project, he allows it so Joseph won't find out that you are with him. Well, as long as you don't get too crazy.

You still haven't told John how you feel about him, although you have no problem admitting it to Nick that you love the blue-eyed Baptist.

Nick has been perfectly supportive the past three months, comforting you when John has bad days. Kim always mothers you now that she's had her daughter- she patches up your wounds and makes sure you have a healthy and nourished body. You were gratefully surprised to find out Kim and Nick made you godmother of their daughter.

Your confession and atonement was shortly after you reunited with John. He had cut off your wrath sin, but left the Lust one scarred on your skin. You know it doesn't belong there- you don't actually lust for him in a sinful way, but you figure it's easier for him to stay around without shutting down if he pretended you don't love him.

John Seed is, well- he's still the same John Seed you've always known. He let's you have free reign of your life, but still has a firm grip on the boundaries of that 'life.' He still hasn't told you too much about his childhood other than the hints that his parents were abusive, especially to him.

You can feel him wanting to open up to you, but you understand that he is too terrified to get that close to someone. However, you've noticed small progress in John's trust for you- like letting you wake up with him next to you. Usually he was already awake, but sometimes he would let himself rest in your arms.

A small thing, but a huge improvement in John Seed's standards.

As for the collapse, you don't know if it's real or not. Frankly, you don't care. Everyone you love has a bunker to run to if in fact it is real. Everyone is safe.

Atop of the mountain John took you to after meeting his family in the church for the first time, you gaze out at the sun setting beyond the horizon of Hope County. You are sitting on the back of a white Cultist pickup truck while holding a WhiteTailer resistance gun in your lap.

You are a mess of contradictions, yet you have never felt like you belong somewhere as much as you do now.

You see John's plane zoom by in the distance and do an aileron roll directly in your sight. You smile and chuckle to yourself because you know he's just showing off for you and saying hello.

You hear a feint cry for help and the undeniable bark of a Judge in the near distance. You hop off the truck with your trusted resistance gun-

Duty calls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I felt like this was a nice way to end the story. I really do hope those who read have enjoyed the story. I wanted to keep John Seed true to his character throughout the entire story without letting him get "soft" and turn into an entirely different person. I hope I did not disappoint.
> 
> I love this game very much and have greatly enjoyed writing it. Thank you everyone for reading Redemption, it meant a lot! See yall next time- ♡


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